Sasha

 

 

Kirk was staring at me with wide startled eyes. I swallowed past the large lump that formed in my throat. Pain from the past poured through my heart as I remembered him coming at me with those vicious hate-glazed eyes. I was trying to move, to do something, but I was glued to the spot.

“Sasha?” he asked, like he didn’t recognise me, the fucker.

Dexter began to shift next to me and his eyes took in Kirk. My ex-boyfriend had short brown hair and he was wearing a suit. He looked sophisticated and it seemed that after a year, life was treating him pretty well. This wasn’t fair and I wanted to vanish. I grabbed Dexter’s elbow. Panic was invading me quickly like an unexpected avalanche, washing over my body, threatening to suffocate me. Dark thoughts began rippling through me as I stared at the man I had been in love with for years. It had taken him only a second to betray me. 

“We need to take the stairs, right now,” I hissed.

“Sasha, wait. I want to talk to you. I’ve been meaning to call your mother,” Kirk said, taking a step towards me. The corridor was slowly closing in on me; the panic attack was approaching as my heart rate escalated. This wasn’t happening. He wasn’t here, he couldn’t be. His voice had haunted me in my dreams until this day.

“Sasha? What the fuck is going on?” Dexter snapped, annoyed. I couldn’t just stand there like that and let Kirk manipulate me into a conversation. I span a hundred and eighty degrees and started marching away. 

“Hey, wait. Come on, Sash, I think I deserve at least a minute of your time.”

I felt his hand on my shoulder and nausea hit me. The pain washed over me, reminding of that fatal day in our flat when I was trying to make amends, to understand why he did it, picking up the pieces from the past four years. Then came the humiliation and his hidden cruelty when he began turning everyone against me, kicking me while I was still down.  

“Don’t fucking touch me, you piece of shit!” I screamed, whipping around.

In the next moment Dexter was right in front of Kirk’s face, shoving me aside. In other circumstances I would have told Dexter to mind his own business, but seeing Kirk again drained all my energy and courage from me. My whole body was shaking and I knew that I had to get out of this building; otherwise, I was going to start screaming.

“Sasha, who would have thought. You got yourself a body guard, how ab—”

Kirk didn’t finish what he wanted to say; Dexter had him pinned against the wall, his face a couple of inches away from Kirk’s. My ex wasn’t weak. He was taller and bulkier than any other man I knew. I gasped when I saw Dexter’s face. He looked like a madman, his eyes filled with escalating fury.

 

“Say one more word to her, shitface, and I will rip your tongue out of your mouth!” Dexter growled and shoved his elbow over Kirk’s neck, pressing it until my ex-boyfriend’s face paled. There were other people moving through the corridor and Dexter was making a scene. Bile rose in my throat. I couldn’t get him involved—not then or ever.

“Dex, please. He’s not worth it. Let’s just go,” I said quietly and touched him.  

and started dragging me away, heading for the stairs. All the while he was talking to me, but I wasn’t really listening. The voices from that night were alive in my head. I felt like the

be right back,” he told me in the car. I knew that he had to go back and

tingled down my spine as memories of previous encounters pushed right through my head. The stabbing panic threatened to seize control of my brain. I

This should make you

my eyes, but somehow I managed to push them away. Several deep breaths later I had my body under

seriously, eat. Otherwise I’ll feed you. The sorbet will distract you from whatever

Dexter grinned. I couldn’t let him see me like this, broken and shattered. Kirk was a psycho and I should have known better; we were back

sharp taste of sorbet could turn any negative thoughts away. I emptied the bowl within minutes.

Sasha. You didn’t even offer me

any.” I inhaled slowly and let his eyes travel over the tight white top that I’d worn today. When I met his gaze, instead of desire I saw troubled concern, and that put me on edge. I didn’t think he cared about my

he finally asked, switching on

complicated. I was afraid that if I told him

the car park. I assumed that we were

 

him for you if you want,”

widely. “And what

you even asking that question? I’ve enough money; I would hire someone to do the dirty work for me. I’m too good-looking

huh? How are

car stopped at the traffic lights and Dexter leaned over and kissed me, deeply and sensually.

trying

was the father. He did care when I got pregnant, but then things went

you hate him

down at my fingers, aware that Dexter wanted the real answer. We weren’t in a relationship, but I wasn’t done with sleeping with him yet. I didn’t want to dive straight back into the gloom, like my first few months in London, where I was the loneliest person on

I don’t want to talk about it. I know that I never want to see

can still hire a

that means that you care too much about me, Dexter, so cut

statement. The light changed to green and the car moved forward. The silence was awkward, but at least he had done

than you realise. This isn’t a fucking game

really meant what he said. Was Dexter sending me some sort of encrypted message? Was this more than just sex between us? He was so cold, and the

many causes of

back to the complex. I was in a much better mood. Dexter was quiet. I had another pole-dancing training session tonight

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