"I think you need to go and rest darling." Brenda's mother told me as we walk out of the kitchen.

"I'm fine mom really." I assure her she was so worried about me and I understand her.

"Are you really okay? Brenda aasked me when we reach the stairs smiling at me.

" I'm fine love really I just wish I could stop having this flashes really I just want to have a normal life it's all. "I said walking up the stairs with LJ's small hand in mine.

" Maybe I can do something."Brenda said next to me as I look at  her.

" What?

" Compel you." she told me as I just look at her not knowing how it will help any of my flashes.

please stop joking around." I told her

while I know I can do something let me just compel you to forget that everything had happened for this week and then I will take it back and then you can choose what you want but please think about the baby. "she told me

don't want if you care so much about this child who is not even born yet then I don't know what I will meant for all of you here in this house when she is born. I don't care about this child and no Brenda  just leave me the yell alone! I scream at her and speed off towards my room leaving them in front of chrissy room and lock myself

became a problem for me I don't want you I don't need you just die okay I scream hitting on my stomach so many times feeling the pain on my fits on my skin making me

you! Scream throwing  and destroying everything in my

I heard Brenda's

her, I hate

having her in my body she is disgusting she is dirt and make feel more and more dirty I can't even kiss Brenda probably she can't even touch me and then I get those stupid flashes I can't live like this I can't I just wanna die and never came back. How will I ever make

feeling the sun on my skin and hearing Brenda call for me to came back and I just know she would follow me so I transport myself into my old room of the house of me and mother. My room was very dirty and dust I walk up to my bed seeing the drugs still on my bed the same way I have I have left it. I thought Norma was here to clean up the

waiting for it to sink in but it was just no enough as I pour a little more on my hand and snuif again making me laugh so hard hearing Brenda's voice in my hate not to do anything stupid. I suddenly froze when I think about Brenda's words and the way the baby was kicking me so hard. I felt so guilty about everything I wouldn't see LJ anymore if Brenda found out about

to hurt so much as I couldn't understand what's happening to me so many voice were busy talking in my mind and I

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