When Perfect Meets Crazy

“What could you possibly have to be sad about?” I couldn’t not roll my eyes as I asked the question.

Considering the fact that the girl I was talking to was on the verge of tears, my tone was less than friendly.

I knew I had signed up to play point guard for Mae’s crush on Zach when I agreed to go to Finch’s party but I honestly hadn’t counted on her getting irrevocably emotional-blubbering-mess drunk. Had I known, I would’ve unapologetically declined. I had enough on my plate as it was and even if I didn’t, I just wasn’t one for the full range of human emotions. It wasn’t my thing. It was like asking Coco Chanel to wear a knock-off or Einstein to organize a fun day off. No. Just no.

“He won’t even look at me.” She sniffled, turning the full effect of her wide teary eyes on me.

I gritted my teeth, an inborn defense mechanism to having my barely-there heartstrings tugged.

“So? You started liking him, what? Last week?”

She raised her head to meet my gaze, her smile wobbling in a way that made it clear water works would follow if I didn’t tread carefully.

“Sorry.” I pasted a congenial smile on my face, sighing inwardly.

I could have been at home, battling virtual characters, reading a novel or even watching reruns. Anything beat sitting in a corner of Finch’s kitchen, consoling a friend over another friend she started liking less than fourteen days ago.

I heaved a sigh, staring longingly out the window.

One of the guys getting high out back popped in, heading straight for the fridge. He paused briefly, sending a nod our way. I nodded back, my impersonal smile making it clear it was not a good time to approach us.

“You don’t understand,” Mae wailed, throwing herself into my lap.

I drew in a fortifying breath and reminded myself that roughly pushing her off might make her throw up. And that under normal circumstances, I actually did like her.

“I really don’t,” I replied a beat later, my irritation under control.

Boys were just boys. As friends, they could be pretty great but I didn’t see what was so amazing about crushes and boyfriends. They came and went. I definitely didn’t date with thoughts of marriage or ‘forever’ in my head. Not many people my age did either so I just couldn’t see why, despite knowing they’d only break-up, they still took boyfriends and crushes so seriously. It was just high school. If the feeling wasn’t mutual, it was as easy as moving on to the next crush.

I forced a smile as Ashley, one of Claire’s minions –Charlie’s angels as Masked Idiot dubbed them- walked into the kitchen to refill her cup of soda.

“That’s because guys always like you first.” Mae sighed, pushing her lips into a pout as she sat up. “You’re like catnip for them.”

I rolled my eyes, taking a sip of my drink to steady myself before replying, “Catnip? Really?”

I could’ve been having fun right now. Seriously. I wasn’t trying to be an unsympathetic friend. Anything but boy drama and I might’ve taken it seriously. Boy drama was just something I could never get behind.

“And you’re never invested. I don’t know how you do it. Like how did you walk away from Rigo? Rigo!” Her gaze, wide and confused, latched onto my face. “How did you even get him to fall that hard for you? He’s practically a serial player.”

rolled my eyes

be true but at the time, I did not know that. Mae was stupidly drunk so I was more than a little suspicious of his intentions when he claimed he was going to be a ‘gentleman’ and walk her home. Everyone at Claire Anne’s knew Rigo. He was the biggest player there was and he was unrepentant about it. Gentleman my foot. As a great friend, I, of course, insisted on accompanying them. Sisterhood and whatnot. That

No talk of defining anything. Just casual fun. So casual we didn’t even have to be friends. Of course thanks to my eternal need to compartmentalize the different parts of my life, I instantly decided that was what I needed. A causal situation. No strings attached. No meeting the parents. No picking

ended because I wasn’t a good girlfriend -calling everyday, asking about their days, telling them about

complain about everything and if the boy didn’t meet their standards, they would react like I had failed an important test. For the rest of my life, they’d never let me live it down. Things were never forgotten in my house. My house was one where every time you screwed

wasn’t ready for that. At all. Unfortunately, bodies have cravings that need to be satisfied

big deal when he started going after me because he was Rigo and ‘Rigo doesn’t

went beyond the walls of school. At least that part of our initial agreement got through his

I can’t tell you how it happened. I did nothing to

was just the occasional heated make-out session on his couch or in a

nothing else

want them badly. It’s like; if it works, it works. If it doesn’t, next.” Another heavy shoulder heaving sigh. “I wish I was like that. I wish nothing mattered to me. That I

of the Pepsi. I pasted a smile

it’s elusion. There’s no such word as ‘elusivity’.”

eyes and tossed her empty cup aside. I graciously handed her mine even though

want them badly. There are lots of boys so why stress over one?” I had enough highly demanding people

lightly at Louise who was making

the one who ended

away. On paper, he was the perfect candidate for a boyfriend. He was smart, cool and kind. He had the best smile and prettiest eyes. The fact that

with extracurriculars and sports, and expected me to always be the one to reach out as if I didn’t have a lot going on with my three jobs, ‘interning’ at

I wasn’t supportive enough. Never mind that at the time, my mom was away and I had turned into a living breathing punching bag who temporarily had to take over the post of editor-in-chief of the magazine for my aunt who was getting treatment for her obstructive jaundice. She needed surgery and clearly entrusting a virtual magazine to a fourteen year old

how or why everyone always expected me to do it all, to make it work every time. A lot of time, I really

after you ditched him how many times? Then only sent a text on his birthday and ghosted for a whole week? You didn’t even go to

not to roll my eyes. He got hurt and yes, I wasn’t the best girlfriend but he knew that before getting into the relationship and it wasn’t like I wanted to bail on his birthday. My dad was in one of his moods that

mattered anyway because after the altercation with daddy dearest, I cried myself to sleep only to wake up hours later, after the party was over. No way on God’s green beautiful earth was I going to tell anyone that though. Being a picture perfect heartless bitch was

all I

can’t do it. I care too much. You’re... you. No one else can be. Not the way

so hate you,” she added, her words

good thing we’re friends then.” I rose to my feet. That was enough

“So fast?”

“It’s past midnight.”

to her feet shakily and exaggeratedly dusted herself off before locking her arm with mine.

and patted wisps of her hair down.

you right back, babe,” I whispered.

We kept having to stop to chat with one person or the other. Claire included. She wrinkled her nose at my dress and snobbishly informed

infamous